The DOCTOR

Oh, my. This was by far my worst trip yet. First, though, stats: Jonah was 47 lbs and 44.5 inches. He's squarely in the 75th percentile. He failed part of the hearing test in his left ear, so we will be watching that. Guess that might explain why he's the kid we are constantly asking, "Jonah, Do you HEAR me???" The answer might actually be "no." Sarah was 22lbs, 7oz and 29.5 inches. She is also squarely in the 75th percentile. Their hair color is pretty much exactly the same. Funny since Jonah was so white at first, and she's always had this shade.

And, here's the story. We all arrive for our well kid appointments at 9:00am. As you might expect, I wasn't in a good mood since I was determined that the kids had to get their chores done before we left the house. That means I harped a lot and they whined a lot as I pushed to get them out door. So, anyway, we arrived slightly late. We waited in the waiting room while the kids fought over the waiting room toys. Sometimes it's just easier if the waiting rooms aren't kid friendly. When we finally saw the doctor, he was very s-l-o-w and the exams took forever. Insert outrage: Can you believe they gave Sarah her immunization shots before the doctor even came into the room? What were they thinking? It's difficult to proceed with an exam when your patient is screaming.

So, I sent Anna & Eli back to the waiting room. It was just too much for all of us to be in there together for that long. As I was packing up to take the kids for bloodwork, Eli came walking back into our room minus his shoes and pants. Hello???? Why would a 2yo take off his clothes in the waiting room?

I put us all together - yet again - and headed toward the bloodwork area. As we walked, I briefed Jonah that he would get his blood taken. No problem. Then, the nurses handed me a cup for him to urinate in. Now, if you know Jonah, there isn't any way in this world that he would go into an unknown bathroom and pee in a cup, especially after having had his privates examined by the doctor. This kid is freaked out by windows in bathrooms and the idea of anyone seeing his underwear. I had my hands full with four kids, so I asked for a to-go bag and prayed that we could get him to do it at home.

We all then settled into the lab area. I had Sarah on my lap and Jonah sat next to us. Anna went down the hall with a nurse and Eli was crawling under the chairs. Well, ya know, he's two and my hands were already busy. So, they prick Sarah's finger and she starts screaming. Really, really screaming. Screaming like I've never heard. They prick Jonah's finger and he starts whimpering. Then crying. They get done with Sarah and try to bandage her finger but she was screaming so hard that they couldn't get her blood to clot and she tore off every bandage they put on her finger. She even resorted to using her teeth to get them off. Then, Jonah faints. Yes, he truly fainted. Thank God he was sitting next to me and he fell onto me. It could have been much worse. The nurse grabbed him and held him while he came to. He was so white and pastey, and he was crying even more. I was frightened for him, and I couldn't do anything since I had a screaming baby on my lap. Amongst all the commotion, Eli managed to climb behind my chair and was asking me over and over and over if I would open his fruit snacks.

I can't do the trip justice, but I can feel my blood pressure elevating just remembering the day. Oh, my.

Just because she is adorable...